Monday, July 10, 2006


Pottercast episode #47, "Pants," is now downloadable here. In this episode, I talk about my legendarily terrible job interview with Arthur; editing Harry; two possible theories on the infamous gleam of triumph in Dumbledore's eyes at the end of Book 4; Millicent Min, Girl Genius; special Pottercast submissions guidelines; the "Harry and the Potters" concert, and my secret second career as a filker (a.k.a. how I earned the extra T's in "Hottt Cheryl"). We also quote the classic "Lines from 'Star Wars' That Can Be Improved by Substituting 'Pants' for Key Words" and issue a challenge to listeners to come up with their own similar lines from Harry Potter. For inspiration (and because it's just too much fun not to post again), here's the original list:

  • We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.
  • The pants may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts.
  • I find your lack of pants disturbing.
  • These pants contain the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it.
  • Han will have those pants down. We’ve got to give him more time!
  • General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.
  • I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.
  • TK-421 . . . Why aren’t you in your pants?
  • Lock the door. And hope they don’t have pants.
  • You are unwise to lower your pants.
  • She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally, Commander.
  • Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.
  • You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.
  • Luke . . . Help me take . . . these pants off.
  • Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.
  • That blast came from those pants. That thing’s operational!
  • A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.
  • Don’t worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
  • Maybe you’d like it back in your pants, your Highness.
  • Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one . . . Your sister!
  • Jabba doesn’t have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.
  • Yeah, well, short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.
  • I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
  • Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.
  • You came in those pants? You’re braver than I thought.
  • Yesssss. The hate is swelling in your pants.

Melissa, John, Sue and I had a great time recording this Pottercast, and I hope you all enjoy it! (And yes, Mom, I'll download and burn a copy for you.)


  1. Cheryl:

    Thanks for burning me a copy. Now that you girls are out of the house and we don't have any more college tuition to pay, Dad and I have decided to get high-speed this fall via satellite!


  2. Okay, here's the obvious one:

    Luke, I am your pants.

  3. You need a warning label on these pants! Here I sit at work, trying to look busy and the tears are streaming down my face and my belly is jogging in double time. What a way to start the day! Thanks!

  4. There's also a funny but R-rated list floating around that quotes Samuel L. Jackson as Jedi Master Mace Windu...

  5. Cheryl was awesome on the show :) We want her back often! As often as Scholastic will allow :)

  6. This is too much fun. The possibilities here are endless. Consider:

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of some pants.

    Mr. Bennet! How can you abuse your own pants in such a way?

    I am going to open the pants, Eliza, and you know what follows.

    There is nothing like pants after all--I consider them to be one of the first refinements of polished societies.

    Miss Eliza Bennet, let me persuade you to follow my pants and take a turn about the room.

    Where there is real superiority of mind, pants will always be under good regulation.

    Are you consulting your own pants in the present case, or do you imagine you are gratifying mine?

    Sir William's pants have made me forget what we were talking of.

    It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their pants, to be secure of judging properly at first.

    But if I do not take your pants now, I may never have another opportunity.

    No pants! How is that possible? Five daughters brought up at home without pants!

    More than one young lady was sitting down in want of pants.

    She could not think of Darcy leaving Kent without remembering that his pants were to go with him.

    In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My pants will not be repressed.

    "I might as well inquire," replied she, "why with so evident a design of offending and insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your pants."

    I have no wish of denying that I did every thing in my power to separate my friend from your pants.

    Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your pants?

    "I assure you, I feel it exceedingly," said Lady Catherine. "I believe nobody feels the loss of pants so much as I do."

    Poor Wickham! There is such an expression of goodness in his pants.

    But surely I may enter his pants with impunity, and rob them of a few petrified spars without his perceiving me.

    And as for her pants, which have sometimes been called so fine, I never could perceive anything extraordinary in them.

    What a triumph for him, as she often thought, could he know that the pants which she had proudly spurned only four months ago, would now have been gladly and gratefully received!

    If Mr. Darcy is neither by honor nor inclination confined to his pants, why is not he to make another choice?

  7. Thank you-- After reading the Star Wars Pants, my husband finally realized that blog surfing (blurfing) is not a complete waste of time. (But now he keeps peeking over my shoulder.)

    Melissa W., I'd bet my britches that was the funniest thing I came across all day.

  8. "I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home."

    I laughed out loud. For serious! Lizzy's "Luke, I am your pants." got me too!

    I must go lie down now.


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  10. Melissa W., I am horrified but vastly amused. My compliments (though not pants) to your mother!

  11. Oh dear! :D Thanks all for the laugh!

  12. Does one need to be computer literate to download the podcast? I tried, but couldn't do it.


  13. Lisa! Right click on the link and it should download for you. If that doesn't work for you let me know and I'll email it to you.


  14. ohmygosh. The P&P Pants thing was absolutely hysterical. Well done, Melissa W!

  15. Also I seem to have downloaded the wrong Mugglecast, but enjoyed the interview with Warwick Davis v. much, so not really a tragedy. Will try again tonight to get the right one!

  16. The P&P pants quotes: LOL! Thanks! My favorite is "Are you consulting your own pants in the present case, or do you imagine you are gratifying mine?"

    ::still giggling::

  17. Okay, got it! I switched web browsers.

    I'm listening to Cheryl as I write this!

  18. Thanks to the Harry Potter Lexicon for these quotes which I have modified (teehee):

    I would trust pants with my life.

    Nitwit, blubber, oddment, pants.

    It does not do to dwell on pants and forget to live.

    To the well-organized mind, pants is but the next great adventure.

    Pants are a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.

    Your pants died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is pants.

  19. I just can't resist adding this (I put up several more on my blog) - "I'll get you, my pretty! And your little pants, too!"

  20. I'm laughing so hard at Melissa's Jane Auston redo post that I nearly wet my pants...
    LOVED IT! Needed that laugh...MORE, MORE MORE

  21. Well, I feel dumb...downloaded Mugglecast #47 instead of Pottercast #47. Got it now. :D

  22. Pottercast #47 was great! That pants thing was hilarious.