Lines from “Star Wars” That Can Be Improved by Substituting “Pants” for Key Words

A list created by one of my classmates in the Carleton College class of 2000:

• We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.
• The pants may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts.
• I find your lack of pants disturbing.
• These pants contain the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it.
• Han will have those pants down. We’ve got to give him more time!
• General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.
• I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.
• TK-421 . . . Why aren’t you in your pants?
• Lock the door. And hope they don’t have pants.
• You are unwise to lower your pants.
• She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally, Commander.
• Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.
• You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.
• Luke . . . Help me take . . . these pants off.
• Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.
• That blast came from those pants. That thing’s operational!
• A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.
• Don’t worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
• Maybe you’d like it back in your pants, your Highness.
• Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one . . . Your sister!
• Jabba doesn’t have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.
• Yeah, well, short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.
• I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
• Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.
• You came in those pants? You’re braver than I thought.
• Yesssss. The hate is swelling in your pants.