I was walking home tonight in the lovely air, only the slightest bit tipsy, and thinking about the fact that I am not going to blog tomorrow or Thursday, or the 22nd either, because I missed blogging last Wednesday by accident, and if I can't honestly blog every day of the month, by God, I can at least make a pretty design in the little calendar to the right. In any case, thinking about blank spaces made me think of one of my favorite passages from what I honestly believe is one of the funniest YA novels ever written, The Year of Secret Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty. Emily and Charlie are writing back and forth, and he's just written a rude letter insulting her. She thus sends him a letter reading "You talk a pile of crap." twenty-eight times, and then adds the following P.S.'s:
P. S. I decided to use this opportunity to practice my handwriting. As you can see, I am developing a highly eloquent style.
P.P.S. I got a Secret Assignment yesterday and GUESS WHAT. I'm not going to tell you what it is.
P.P.P.S. I have to go now because you are wasting my TIME.
P.P.P.P.S. The next letter you get from me will be an empty envelope, so be prepared for misery.Charlie then responds by telling her a long (and true, so far as he knows) story about how he saved the lives of the whole school from a gas leak, and concludes, "I liked your handwriting in your last letter. It was cute."
She writes back:
THIS, AS YOU WILL SEE, IS AN EMPTY ENVELOPE.
EMILY.And this is so completely in tune with who Emily is, so adorably resolute in her ditzy brilliance, I still smile every time I think of it. (Ditto with "You are Argentina.")
So, readers, despite all the foregoing: