Monday, May 12, 2008

Welcome to the Neighborhood

My thought process on seeing this yesterday:

  1. Oh wow -- ninjas live in Park Slope!
  2. But wait -- the true ninja would never advertise his or her whereabouts so crudely. Therefore, ninjas do not live in Park Slope.
  3. But the true ninja would know that his or her enemies would think that the true ninja would never advertise his or her whereabouts so crudely. Thus the true ninja might go ahead and advertise his or her whereabouts in just that fashion to lull the enemies into a relaxed stupor and slay them. Therefore, ninjas live in Park Slope.
  4. But the enemies would know that the true ninja would know that the enemies would think that the true ninja would never advertise his or her whereabouts so crudely. Therefore, the enemies would not fall for the ploy; therefore, the true ninja would not make such a ploy; therefore, the sign-writer is lying, and ninjas do not live in Park Slope.
  5. But the true ninja would know that the enemies would know . . .
  6. Ad infinitum.
  7. Perhaps the ninja's enemies marked his or her house so that other enemies would know where the ninja lives and kill the ninja on behalf of the first enemies.
  8. Or perhaps it's actually the first enemies' house and the ninja marked it so that the second enemies would kill the first enemies.
  9. Or perhaps it's a decoy house to draw out all the enemies, and the ninja actually lives next door.
  10. The Ninja Next Door: Now there's a title for a picture book.
  11. Perhaps the Staten Island ninja has moved to Brooklyn!
  12. Perhaps a ninja is behind me right now.
  13. (And as you're reading this, one could be behind you.)
  14. . . .
  15. . . .
  16. . . .
  17. Perhaps I should stay away from that street.


  1. LOL! And all this time I thought Park Slope was only populated by the stroller set! Now there's ninjas?! I ask you: which one is more dangerous?

  2. *tickled* NO!! What you MUST do, is visit more such streets and produce posts as amusing (perhaps more!) as this one :)


  3. So, are you now expecting at least three PB manuscripts in the mail titled "The Ninja Next Door"?

    Happy strolling, Cheryl.

    WandaV in AL

  4. That's hilarious!
    I'm watching my back for ninjas now.

  5. I can report that the ninja have no advanced south into Windsor Terrace, or if they have, their enemies - neither the first or second set - have noted their presence.

  6. I hope you've seen The Princess Bride.

    "You put the poison in that cup... unless you thought that I would think that you would think..."

  7. I think I could take a Park Slope Ninja.
    Also, I was in ORLANDO years ago with some cousins and one of my cousins REFUSED to walk to the GROCERY STORE with us because she was afraid of ORLANDO NINJAS.

    And, this whipup post made me think of you:

  8. See, this is why I want to move to New York! I suppose the worst you'll find in Ohio is a cow that's lost its farm.

  9. hpelizabeth18, one of the first drafts for this post in my brain actually ended, "Never mess with a Sicilian when DEATH IS ON THE LINE!" [whump]

    And Gbemi, I love the idea of Orlando Ninjas . . . whom I irresistibly picture as regular ninjas wearing Mickey Mouse ears. :-)

  10. Funny! Please do alert us if Inigo Montoya moves to Park Slope.

  11. Interesting... but how do you know that any ninja wrote the words? Perhaps it was an observant Naruto watching neighbor with chalk who gave the game away and the ninja strike force doesn't speak english so they don't know how their mission has been compromised.
    Poor ninjas!
    If you do go on that street don't forget your nunchaka!

  12. That gave me a chuckle. Thanks, Cheryl!

  13. It is SO Princess Bride, but even more intense! This is funny and thank you! I needed that today.

  14. We have Ninja Cardinals here in Saint Louis... Crime fighting bird that swing their wings and bats (wooden, not corked or metal) throughout our fair city saving fair maidens...Oh wait I think I'm mixing up some stories. Cheryl, I promise I won't send a query...this month. :)

  15. Ninjas remind me of the ninja turtles, and that brings to mind the recent book by Daniel Pinkwater with a turtle of the cover: The Neddiad. Have you read it?