Monday, March 06, 2006

Oscar Liveblog, Part VI: The Morning Afterparty

I am staying home from work today with my fever, my chills, my fatigue, my aspirin, and my extreme grouchiness at being sick. I hate being sick -- beyond all the physical stuff, it's really boring, especially when there's a beautiful day outside and a great deal of work to be done, and I feel like maybe if I just got moving everything would be okay . . . but no. Bah.

  • Jill: Jessica Alba. Hiro: Ken Watanabe (though I'm afraid I can't think of any other Japanese actors). Carrie: Michelle Williams, in sparky rather than beaten-down mode. And I'm recasting Ted with Orlando Bloom, again with the long hair.
  • Thinking more about "Crash" -- I did have a strong emotional reaction to it, which tends to be my first criteria in judging a work of art, did it move me. But all my emotional reaction came from shock at the horribleness and bluntness of these people rather than from any genuine emotional connection with the characters. And they were consistently cheap shocks the filmmakers knowingly provoked under the guise of making a serious, "important" film about race. It was well-acted, well-constructed, all that, and I appreciated the "we are all connected" theme, but the more I think about the film, the less I like it.
  • If Lisa Yee is going to be played by Michelle Yeoh, she really needs a good action sequence. I'm envisioning her delivering the manuscript for her next novel to FedEx when suddenly four armed bandits hold up the store, looking for a trunk of nuclear submachine guns that's mistakenly been directed to South Pasadena. But the clerk refuses to give it to them because it means they lied on the form about shipping dangerous materials. While they're arguing, Lisa spins into action, disarming one with a Tae Kwan Do move she learned from her daughter, taking out another with the help of her attack dog Maggie, engaging the third in a long round of hand-to-hand combat that concludes when she stuffs the Moon Pie of Death in his face, and, the piece de resistance, whapping the last over the head with the manuscript of EMILY EBERS. Boo-ya!
  • Are there any such things as nuclear submachine guns? I don't know.

I'm going to get out of bed and take a shower now, and maybe try to read a manuscript or clean up a little. But I will probably be around again later. Consider yourselves forewarned.


  1. i am so sad that Dolly did not win for best song.

  2. Cheryl!!!! I'm so sorry you are feeling so sick. It sounds like you have what I just got over. Take care of yourself and don't push it. It's important to treat yourself kindly so you can feel better soon.

    That said, can I just say how friggin awesome I think it is that you picked Michelle Williams to play me? That just made my morning!!! I thought she was just fantastic in Brokeback and I really like her offscreen too. Let me also say that while watching last night I was internally repeating "oh Michelle, what were you thinking?" with regards to the marigold dress and cherry red lipstick - but the more I look at pictures of her today, the more her whole ensemble is growing on me. I think it was edgy, artsy and spunky. And that actually makes what she wore really great.

    So I love you for choosing her to play me!

    p.s. I think Hiro is more Jackie Chan than Ken Watanabe (Jackie Chan's non-Japanese-ness aside). :)

  3. Oh no! I'm so sorry you're sick. I hope you're feeling better than you were this morning.

    And Jessica Alba. Interesting choice. I usually get Sarah Jessica Parker or Kate Hudson... (That is, unless there's another Jill you're friends with and it's not me Jill you're talking about, in which case, please disregard the last three sentences.)

  4. Oh, I agree...Clooney is totally dreamy in that smart, dashing, witty and totally unattainable sort of a way...sigh.

    Did you give away Catherine Keener? That's who I'd like to play me. Also, I've often thought of Jeremiah as sort of a Matthew Perry/Chandler Bing sort. Pre-drug addiction of course.

    Get well soon!

  5. Hmm, Jill, I *can* see Sarah Jessica and Kate Hudson for you -- but the similarity there mostly seems to be the curly hair, while I think you have the same overall build and skin tone as Jessica Alba. And you're the only Jill in my life.

    2.0, I was considering Thora Birch from "Ghost World" for you (mostly because of the dark bob, I think), but you totally get Catherine Keener. Jeremiah . . . I kept thinking about Elijah Wood (though not Elijah Wood) or someone else rather less preppy than Matthew Perry, but you would know better than I.

    Also, the role of "Ben" has been recast yet again, this time with Hugh Laurie.

    I am taking this all way too seriously. But I'm *still* sick (or at least feverish), so it's not like I have a lot else to do . . .

  6. I feel the same way about Crash, though I still love the nasty remark that Don Cheadle makes about Puerto Ricans and Mexicans being the same because they both park their cars on their lawns.

    I was explaining Crash to S. last night and I basically ran through the general concept of a bunch of seemingly unrelated characters being interconnected and how the connections are wrapped around issues of race. My comment to her was that it was kind of pretentious, and the sort of thing that I would have thought was really cool in college, but that I now find cheap.

  7. Since others are asking, what did you see about Scarlett in me? (is it the boobs and pale skin, or her personality?) both of which would be grand!

  8. Di, I think it was the pale skin, big eyes, and heart-shaped face ... though boobs too, sure, why not. :-)

  9. I thought Crash was brilliantly constructed, and I couldn't stop thinking about it long after it was over, but the experience of watching Brokeback...which was so beautifully filmed and acted...made that my favorite movie of the year.

    And George Clooney is my new hero!

    - Jay

  10. Well Jeremiah and I discussed it and we decided that Toby McGuire should be the one to play him. No, Not the Wonderboys Toby, but the Peter Parker version. This is much more satisfying to me since, as you say, Perry really is the clean cut he'll never win an Oscar I'm pretty certain.

    The degree of thought I've put into this is sad.

  11. Well, the Moon Pie you gave me was almost the Moon Pie of Death. It was a double one and very rich, especially when coupled with a Coke.

    I was just going to eat have and save the rest. But nooooo, I'm no wimp. I ate it all!!! (And then felt a full force sugar rush afterwards.)

  12. Okay. Me again. That should have read: "eat half and save the rest."