Sunday, March 05, 2006

Oscar Liveblog, Part III: The Hour of a Thousand Montages

  • The political-ad parodies were hilarious. This is the funniest telecast I can remember in a long time (even if all the best pieces are pre-taped).
  • Terrence Howard has a curious voice – one high note always over that scratchy lower register. What makes it so memorable, I suppose: That high note cuts through and commands attention, and the lower register gives him gravity and commands respect.
  • Charlize Theron seems to be wearing a large black-satin sack with a pillow on her left shoulder.
  • Those crazy Frenchmen with their penguins!
  • Olive green is not Jennifer Lopez’s best color.
  • These “Crash” silhouettes of people writhing before burning cars do not seem to be in the best taste. I was impressed with the movie when I saw it, but it shocked me more than it moved me, largely I think because it was so damn overdetermined: Everything is about race, always, and we crash into each other to make connections, and every character and plot point is going to connect to every other character and plot point and we’re all going to be shown how wrong our stereotypes are. (The good gentlemen of Reverse Shot are particularly cutting about it.) Life is messier than that, unless you’re actually racist, in which case you’re in denial about how messy life is and you’re futilely and reprehensibly trying to simplify it.
  • This is a nice song, though.
  • That Hummer 3 commercial is the most disturbing thing I’ve seen all night. Even more so than Helena Bonham Carter’s hair.
  • Is anyone actually going to read all this?
  • Thank God for technical and design awards, which allow us to see that there are humans and not just movie stars in Hollywood.
  • Ooh, wait. I’m recasting the role of “Ben” with Adrien Brody.
  • My cousin Diana: Scarlett Johansson. My cousin Holly: Embeth Davidtz. My cousin Hans: Josh Hartnett? He's smarter than that. My cousin Bruce: Seth Green.
  • This is Aaron Copland playing behind the political/issue-movie montage, the “Lincoln Portrait,” I think. A lovely piece of music.
  • “State-of-the-art technology will change, but state-of-the-heart storytelling will always be compelling.”—Sid Dennis, president of the Academy
  • Interesting that the Academy seems to be taking a brazen-it-through approach to the political nature of the Best Picture nominees this year—a “Say it loud, we’re political and proud” feel.
  • Love Salma Hayek’s dress. Classy, complex, and a gorgeous shade of blue.
  • I did like the score of “Pride and Prejudice.” It was just the movie that went with it that annoyed the hell out of me.
  • I took an ice-cream break during the epic montage, but they played the theme from “E.T.”—maybe my favorite movie score ever. Also, while the Academy might get credit for not being ashamed of its left-wing politics, it’s also selling the “come be part of the magic of the movies” thing pretty hard. I guess they assume we'll all automatically buy the DVDs, so we need to be reminded about the theatre part.
  • Love Meryl Streep too.


  1. That Hummer commercial disturbed the hell out of me too. It was like watching a bad old Japanese monster movie, one where the monsters then have sex. It actually made me feel dirty. Yuck yuck yuck.

    I too thought Salma Hayek looked beautiful. Her dress was perhaps my favorite of the whole night. There's always so many beige dresses at the Oscars, it's just nice to see a pretty color once in a while. And while the olive green of J. Lo's dress didn't provoke a negative remark from me, the orange color of her fake-baked skin did. Eeewww.

    I'm sad that Joaquin Phoenix didn't win. Phillip Seymour Hoffman gets on my nerves and I loathe every character he's ever played which leads me to think he is typecast as a jerk you want to strangle, for good reason. I thought Joaquin deserved best actor.

    And is anybody reading your liveblog? Oh yes. And thoroughly enjoying it. I love that you were happy for the pimp song.

    Good to see you were having fun watching it at home, if you couldn't make it to our cattiness fest!

  2. Well, I did not read it live, but I am reading it now. Thanks for the Scarlett Johansen casting. Dan will be happy. I agree with Pappa as Jack and Grandma as Judy. But, really, Melissa as Kirsten?

  3. They have the same strong jaw, I think, though Kirsten looks sleepier than Lis usually does. Is there anyone else you'd suggest?

    Also, if I'm casting Dennis Quaid as my father to please my (real-life) mother, then I'm going to recast Geena Davis as my mother to please my (real-life) father.

  4. Oh, and Ashton Kutcher is Joe, Melissa's fiance. No imprecations on Joe's intelligence meant by that; they just look a lot alike.

  5. I've thought about Melissa'a character, but can not think of anything. She defies the traditional starlett too much I think. (a compliment) Oh, what about Anne Hathaway, with blonde hair?