tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post7009119656996858995..comments2024-03-28T02:36:55.037-04:00Comments on Brooklyn Arden: A Straightforward Technique to Make Your Writing More Immediate and EffectiveCherylhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05972029478350879112noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-25106001747009833302015-06-02T10:42:31.769-04:002015-06-02T10:42:31.769-04:00I refer my editing clients to this great post ridi...I refer my editing clients to this great post ridiculously often--I need to put it at the top of my bookmarks. Wordy Birdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02001740030701690611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-45725159709115875452013-10-04T09:56:36.715-04:002013-10-04T09:56:36.715-04:00Good ideas, those words are speed bumps in the con...Good ideas, those words are speed bumps in the connection between the character and the event.<br /><br />Although, Robin has a point, this shouldn't lead to the event squeezing the viewpoint character out of the picture; I also see it's easy to replace the words with more "was"es than you might want. Maybe the full cure is to let the events and the character act more instead of Seeing, with active verbs.Ken Hugheshttp://www.kenhughesauthor.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-9574833378743493492013-09-08T13:21:16.080-04:002013-09-08T13:21:16.080-04:00Great post! Thanks for this. I will keep this in m...Great post! Thanks for this. I will keep this in mind as I revise my current project. :)<br /><br />Ann Schwarzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09302072008087955647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-82521955247669223492013-09-07T08:29:03.177-04:002013-09-07T08:29:03.177-04:00wonderful - I love these very specific, actionable...wonderful - I love these very specific, actionable bits! Thanks, Cheryl!Sallyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03596195411105707978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-74968655771844031272013-09-05T22:01:52.244-04:002013-09-05T22:01:52.244-04:00Donnell, brevity is good but where is Clarissa? If...Donnell, brevity is good but where is Clarissa? If she is the centrepiece of the story, there is no good skipping past her.Jefferson Merrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06167552507684491898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-23642267309891905332013-09-05T21:59:30.369-04:002013-09-05T21:59:30.369-04:00Where are your share buttons? This needs exposure!...Where are your share buttons? This needs exposure!Jefferson Merrickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06167552507684491898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-23649153509324344202013-09-05T11:26:59.590-04:002013-09-05T11:26:59.590-04:00Very helpful post. Thanks!Very helpful post. Thanks!Jennifer Rhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02219388997277330690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-63353401280573494112013-08-22T09:16:16.898-04:002013-08-22T09:16:16.898-04:00These are awesome, thank you for these great examp...These are awesome, thank you for these great examples. Re, tightening, I might take it one step further on D)<br /><br />D) I walked around the corner. A woman was leaning against the wall, crying. Her sobs included the same name over and over again: "Clarissa . . . Clarissa . . ." Who was Clarissa? Was this woman mourning her for the same reasons I mourned Suzette?<br /><br />How about... I walked around the corner. A woman leaned against the wall, crying. <br />Donnell Ann Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07943037206984648849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-3039107875214212972013-08-21T20:22:01.022-04:002013-08-21T20:22:01.022-04:00This was so helpful, Cheryl. Thank you for posting...This was so helpful, Cheryl. Thank you for posting!Miranda Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00479324010424718024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-42611803170234764132013-08-20T04:19:18.256-04:002013-08-20T04:19:18.256-04:00LOVE this! LOVE this! Ebony McKenna.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02724727996270658767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-38845540391504767112013-08-19T16:54:22.316-04:002013-08-19T16:54:22.316-04:00Great guidance as I make my way through Revision L...Great guidance as I make my way through Revision Land!Bobbie Pyronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16244714223615778335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-83793596652012325682013-08-19T15:56:45.510-04:002013-08-19T15:56:45.510-04:00Great post! I'm encouraging my blog readers t...Great post! I'm encouraging my blog readers to visit your blog and buy your book, Second Sight.<br /><br />bookgirlblogger.blogspot.combookgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14540143911144855256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-14938211709073131162013-08-19T14:43:59.678-04:002013-08-19T14:43:59.678-04:00Perfect timing for me during Revising Week/Month/W...Perfect timing for me during Revising Week/Month/Who Knows how long. Thanks for the clear examples.Jackie Briggs Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600355884645018088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-69799285706865816462013-08-19T13:56:37.149-04:002013-08-19T13:56:37.149-04:00Cheryl, I'm always so appreciative of the wort...Cheryl, I'm always so appreciative of the worthwhile, extraordinarily helpful and insightful info you put up for us. Thank you!WriterSideUphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06065553950345760503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-64108620673774747662013-08-19T12:07:59.438-04:002013-08-19T12:07:59.438-04:00Very true. Excellent writing is about showing, not...Very true. Excellent writing is about showing, not telling. It is important to remove your fingerprints from the text so that nothing hinders the reader from fully investing in the story you've woven.Megan Clemonshttp://www.meganclemons.weebly.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-59243637400194561852013-08-19T10:59:30.852-04:002013-08-19T10:59:30.852-04:00Great post with lots of good reminders and example...Great post with lots of good reminders and examples. Thanks.Rosihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01294774973863802821noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-41824923887082388022013-08-19T10:03:50.677-04:002013-08-19T10:03:50.677-04:00Just what I needed this morning! I've got a lo...Just what I needed this morning! I've got a lot of "sense" words clogging up my WIP. Granted, it's a first draft, but I'll be referring to this post when I start the revisions! Thanks!Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10783105022383640157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-46387910476066237272013-08-19T00:05:51.290-04:002013-08-19T00:05:51.290-04:00I find that filters crop up when I observe my prot...I find that filters crop up when I observe my protagonist rather than become my protagonist. Whenever I write a filter, I know I'm too much in my head rather than absorbed in the heart of the story.Melissa Hedhttp://myscribblesandink.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074861.post-481188913428575992013-08-18T22:27:39.906-04:002013-08-18T22:27:39.906-04:00This is like weeding out passive voice, but more l...This is like weeding out passive voice, but more like passive acting/emoting.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15363411079221274431noreply@blogger.com