Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Bizarre Foreign Children's Books of the Day

As part of my job, I review foreign publishers' catalogs and ask them to send us copies of books that sound like good candidates for translation. None of the picture books below qualified, but I loved their descriptions so much I typed them up and e-mailed them to a few of my friends. Here they are for your reading pleasure (and I swear to God I did not make any of these up).

WHO'S THE MOST HANDSOME?
Milo is the most handsome gnu in the world. His mother tells him so non-stop. He often asks himself what he's got that the others don't. So Milo decides to take part in a beauty pageant for animals. The first prize is a trip to Paris. But nothing is going as planned. In the crowd of candidates, Milo feels a little alone. And no longer so handsome. Suddenly, he sees a little penguin with his young refrigerator.
A drama is at hand.

GO ON! DON'T GIVE UP, SLUG!
From all appearances, there is a shell; it's a slug and a snail. However, how about if we trace the slug's ancestors? A poem with a unique viewpoint of a slug.

BUD AND THE NAMELESS POTATO
One day, after school, Bud finds a strange potato on the table. Bud runs after the potato and falls into a fantastic world swept away by a huge vortex. Bud wants to know the name of the potato but it doesn't have any name. And so Bud begins to travel with the nameless potato in search of its lost name all around the world.

THE BROTHER EGGSHELL CHICK STILL WANTS TO PUT ON ITS SHELL
Big Brother Egg is the eldest of the pack. While all of his younger brother and sisters have already turned into baby chicks, Big Brother Egg does not want to hatch. He wants to stay in his eggshell forever. But it's high time that he grew out of his shell. . . .

THE CAT AND THE CLARINETIST
"A heartwarming fantasy with full of clarinet sound!" What is best ever for me is a life with cat. One evening there came a cat. She loved the sound of my clarinet. As listening to my tone, she got bigger and bigger, first larger than bed, then larger than house! You will be fulfilled with joy by the growing cat as you read on.

WHERE IS MY LEOPARD-DOTS PANTY?
"Oh my! My leopard-dots panty is gone! It was in my drawer!" a kid shouts in his room, and from here the colorful story begins. First, it's a baby lion who puts the panty on his head to be like his father. Then it's a thick and large snake who takes a nap in the panty hanging down. Up next is a flamingo. Wow! She is wearing the panty as a necklace for her wedding. Then a baby otter wears it like a swimming glass. Very hilarious!

PUPPY POO
A Puppy Poo forsaken at the corner of an alley. Everyone avoids it saying "Dirty Poo!" One drizzling spring day, Puppy Poo meets a young dandelion plant who needs fertilization. Puppy Poo joyfully breaks itself down and soaks into the root of dandelion. This self-sacrifice finally blooms a dandelion bud into its full glory. A moving and lessonful story illustrated by Sung-gak Chong.

A GIRL BORN WITH A SOUND OF FART
In the island far south, a baby was born with a sound of fart. She grew up to be a nice girl and her great fart would often save people from wild animals. Then she was asked to save people from the monster that comes for babies when the moon is full. On a full moon night, she set out for the sea to face the monster, with her powerful fart her only leverage.

THE TOILET EXPRESS
Rubbing his sleepy eyes a little boy gets up to pee. But he bumps into the toilet that was on his way to an excursion. The toilet says he was late already and could not help him! The chase starts. The boy follows the toilet to the station and jumps on the Toilet Express. Dynamic illustrations with that familiar feeling of holding to go and the relief that follows is humorously described.

AREN'T THEY ALL DRUNKEN?
Children always ask adults "Why?" and one of the most frequently asked "why?" is "Why do they drink?" This question leads to other questions like "Why do their faces turn red?" "Why do they keep on saying the same thing?" "What happens in their body when they drink?" "Why they come to themselves after some hours?" No one can readily answer these questions, so let's look into the mystery of alcohol!


P.S. If you love Jane Austen, don't miss Melissa W.'s work of pants genius in the comments on the topic below.

14 comments:

  1. Oh my...

    (Mijn oh...l'OH mon...mein OH-... OH ???... _ oh meu... oh ???... l'OH mio...)

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  2. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Wow.

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  3. Cheryl, you are a national treasure.

    So exactly how "moving" is "Puppy Poo"? Does the author know that there is a special level of Hell for people who write children's book that are "lessonful"?

    "A poem with a unique viewpoint of a slug." It’s not just the ordinary point of view of slugs and snails but “unique!” and in verse!

    A good editor however could most likely descramble Big Brother Egg into "How Big Brother Egg Broke Out of His Shell and Got His Groove On", then you could sell the rights for a musical.

    I’m feeling something sad for the illustrators right now. I can hear the tears of woe falling like acid rain across a drawing of a baby otter wearing panties on its head. "I went to Art Center for this?" sob....

    Thank God none of these books are scratch and sniff.

    More please,

    Marilyn.


    PS I went totally woogie over the Pottercast… now if I can just get those drums out of my head.

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  4. There just aren't enough PB's about Gnu's Penguins and Refrigerators...why oh why??

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  5. I am excessively flattered! (And happy the Jane Austen Society hasn't yet hung me from Winchester Cathedral by my pants.)

    And oh my! Words fail at these. Do dandelions really require fertilization? Is a cooler a young refrigerator? Is Bud on familiar terms with the other potatoes in his life? If the baby lion is putting leopard dot pants on his head to look like his father, what the heck is his father up to?

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  6. oh, my. You earn every penny of your salary.

    (And I am so sorry I missed the pants party. Still laughing . . .)

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  7. These are too funny. I can only assume that something is lost in the translation of the catalogs.

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  8. These remind me of that great internet list of bad children's book titles. Don't know where they are now, but a few I remember are:

    Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

    We Like Your Sister Better

    and

    Pop! Goes the Hampster and Other Fun Microwave Games

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  9. Seriously, I want to read them all! (Does that mean there's something wrong with me?)

    - Jay

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  10. Hey Cheryl, those foreign children books are definitely...bizarre.

    You don't exactly know me, but I heard you on Pottercast and you said that you'd be doing a talk with Emerson and Melissa in Chicago at Anderson's Bookstore. I checked the website and it said that the event is to take place from 4PM to 8PM, but in your blog you said 7PM. Is that when you and the duo with come?

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  11. I'm DYING over here, this is all SO funny! Oh, my! Oh, my, oh my.....Never knew what I was missing at Bologna...in the exhibits area...not the town...I KNOW what I'm missing there!

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  12. Hi Zuha,

    The time I have is 7 p.m., but I think they're making a Harry Potter Place all that evening, so Mel and Emerson and I must just be capping things off. Go by the store's information, not mine!

    Hope to see you (and any other readers in the Chicago area) there!

    Cheryl

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  13. wow. so hard to choose a favorite! I think "Where is my Leopard-Dots Panty" might take the cake, with "Go on! Don't Give up, slug!" in a close second

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